Monday, November 28, 2005

how to write a .......

How To Write a Love Letter


Learning how to write a love letter isn't difficult. Once you gather your thoughts and follow these simple steps to express the way you feel in a love letter you'll know how to do it.
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: 1 hour
Here's How:
1. Clear your desk and your mind of distractions. If you love someone enough to craft this letter, he or she deserves your full attention.
2. Place a picture of the one you love in front of you.
3. Put on your favorite music.
4. Take out your best letter writing stationery and pen.
5. On another sheet of letter paper, make two lists: a) the unique qualities you love about him/her; b) your hopes for the future together.
6. Personalize the love letter salutation. "Dear ___ ," or "To my darling _____," are both fine.
7. In the body of the love letter, begin by telling him/her what you think makes him/her so special. List at least three different qualities of the one you love in the letter, ideally emotional, physical, and spiritual ones.
8. In the following paragraph of your love letter, share your hopes and dreams for the future you can have together.
9. Personalize the closing of the letter. "I will love you always," "Loving you forever," "My heart is yours," are all good possibilities.
10. Don't forget to sign your love letter!
11. Spray the love letter with a light fragrance.
12. Address, seal, and stamp the love letter.
13. Wait a day before you send your love letter; you may change your mind.
14. Drop the love letter in the mail, and look forward to the response.
Tips:

1. Don't mention anyone else but yourself and the addressee in the love letter.
2. Make sure you only send a love letter to someone who will appreciate it.
3. Pick out a special stamp for your love letter at the post office.

best picture ads






Thursday, November 24, 2005

Some useful websites(tryit)

These are the some of the educational sites try these....................

www.free-ed.net
www.fluentzy.com
www.freeskills.com
www.competitionmaster.com
www.entranceguru.com
www.upsc.gov.in
www.englishpractice.com
www.classroom.net
www.funbrain.com
www.discoveryschool.com
www.examsonline.com
www.shiksha.com
www.netvarsity.com

Saturday, November 19, 2005

A nice story

A Good Practical Case Study...

Once Japan's biggest cosmetics company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the Assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department.

For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty.
Management asked its engineers to solve the problem.
Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent whoopee amount to do so.

But when a rank-and-file employee in a small Indian company was posed with the same problem, he did not get into complications of X-rays, etc but instead came out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.


Moral of the story:

Always look for simple solutions.

Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problem.

Learn to focus on solutions not on problems.


Success will not lower its standard to us....We must raise our standard t


Philosophical quotes

** High Priority **



Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80%
are glad you have them. -Lou Holtz

--------------**************--------------**************--------------

Never explain yourself. Your friends dont need it, and your enemies
wont believe it. -Belgicia Howell

--------------**************--------------**************--------------

Forgive your enemies, but never, never forget their names. -John .F.Kennedy

--------------**************--------------**************--------------

You must experience and accept the extremes. Because if the contrast is
lost, you lose appreciation; and when you lose appreciation, you lose
the value of everything. -Philippos

--------------**************--------------**************--------------

If your problem has a solution then...why worry about it? If your
problem doesn't have solution then...why worry about it? -Chinese Proverb

--------------**************--------------**************--------------
The ultimate measure of man is not where he stands in moments of
comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge
and controversy. - Martin Luther King Jr.

--------------**************--------------**************--------------

Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts
you, it probably hurts the person too.

--------------**************--------------**************--------------

"Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God
and angels know of us." -Thomas
Paine
-------------**************--------------**************---

English-chienes


Ok read the english meanings and then OUT LOUD say the chinese words...

(You MUST read them out loud or it doesn't make as much sense)...
1) That's not right........ Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP.............. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man................................ Dum bo koo
5) Small horse.................. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach?.................... Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped in to a coffee table................. Ai Bang Mai Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...................... Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here........................... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet............... Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone....................... No Pah King
12) staying out of sight.............................. Lei Ying Lo
13) He's cleaning his automobile................ Wa Shing Ka
14) Your body odor is offensive.................. Yu Stin Ki Pu
15) Great..................... Su Pah



many many jokes...

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant
it’s already raining. Sardar: So what? Take an
umbrella and go.

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer
gave 11cr after
deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else
return my 20 Rs
back.


Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.


A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not
in the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.


Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said
another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"


Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".

Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara
Falls?"


Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"



How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

once a Sardhar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the
weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.


Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens .
because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died
'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'


Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne
Flag
Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

.How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo
ta ra ra.

Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher
Studies
Yaar...!!!

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.


Man before Marriage I like Airtel....”Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan”
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network
Follows."

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!

It takes thousand workers to build a castle , Million soldiers to
protect a country
BUT Just ONE woman to make a Happy HOME! Let's Thank ......KAAMWALI

After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He Chcked 1st
patient eyes, tongue & ears by Torch
& finally said BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a
positive side!


It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!


Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.."
Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main usey SURPRISE doonga..!"


Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower
when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the
thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji
figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again
walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the
clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This
time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he
feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The
lawyer turns around.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm
waiting in line."
"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front
of me, do you?"

Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.

Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway
station ticket counter with two men ahead of him.
'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front.
He was given a ticket. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.'
the second man asked & was handed a ticket.
Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'Ek Punjab female dena!'
'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk.
'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh

The Equation:

7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!


Plan For Future:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.

Exams:
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand.
3,More Explanation is Needed.
4,Result is always FAIL!

A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of
AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom

Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives
us light only in the day time when we dont need it.

Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.

Waiter : Would you like your coffee black?
Customer : What other colours do you have?



Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?
David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated.

Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student : Brotherly love.

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday, sametime."

Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ?
Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.


What is the full form of singh: S-sardar I-insaan N-nahi G-gadha H-hai.

Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give me a ring?"
"Sure" replies santa. "Whats ur phone no?"

Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days
because somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women.

One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a
building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh
your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" ....... since Sardarji was in panic.
Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window while comming down when he was near the
tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto.
when he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.

*** Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was
okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and
at last wrote - THUNK !!!"

a sardar was going on the road.Then he sees a man who has met with an
accident.so he picks him up puts him in his car and takes him to the
hospital.Then the sardar realises that the man should have brought by
ambulance.so he takes him back where he picked him
sardar was driving a car. Suddenly one tyre was puncher.he took spear tyre
and changed in the place of punchered tyre. but unfortunately he misplaced
the four screws to fit the tyre on its place . he was so confused ,,now
what to do,, a pagal(mentally retaired) person was watching this incident.
He came near to sardar and said," do one thing,, take each one screw from
the remaining three tyre and fit it in this new tyre.There after u can go
where ever u want to. Sardar was so happy and said aree yaar Duniya tume
pagal kahate hai lakin i dont think u are a pagal. pagal replied sir,, i m
a pagal but i m not a sardar.

Once a Sardar ji rescued 6 people from a house burning on fire;
But still the Sardar ji was jailed, why?
Because all the rescued persons were fire fighters

TEACHER: Why are you late?
L-JOHNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
L-JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
L-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America?
JOHNY: George!

L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
L-JOHNY: Don't bite any.

TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
L-JOHNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am."
L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


Question: There are 10 elephants swimming in a pond. A boy jumps inside and
swims underneath them and counts the number of legs.
There are only 36 legs.HOW??
Answer: One elephant was swimming BACKSTROKE!!

L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?






Wednesday, November 16, 2005

program for u in C language

//Valentine's Day Program //

#include
#include

#define BEAUTY beautiful_lady
struct heart *lover; //object derived from heart structure
float time;
int sugar;

main()
{
college();
time=getSystemHour(&Sys);
if(time = = 3.00)
park();
}

int college()
{
static int ladies;
scanf("100%d",&ladies);
if(lady = = BEAUTY)
sugar++;
do
{
printf("I Love U");
scanf("100%",&reply);
}while( !reply );
if(reply = = "IDIOT")
return(1) // go back to main and repeat the process
else if(reply = = "SANDAL ")
exit(1);
else if(reply = = "I Love U")
{
lover = BEAUTY;
love = (heart*)malloc(sizeof(lover)); //allocate memory in the heart
}
restaurant(); // restaurant function called
return(0); //returns to main()
}

int restaurant()
{
static int food;
food++;
sugar++;
&n! bsp; pay->money = lover->money;
return(0); //returns to college()
}

int park()
{
for(time=4.00;time<=5.00;time+=0.001)
kiss = kiss+1;
}

ALL F1 DRIVERS (for f1 fans)

Laugh

HEIGHT OF ISOLATION:
Two persons sitting side by side using emails to communicate with each other.

HEIGHT OF COWARDICE:
Two persons fighting through emails.

HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS:
Receiving no emails for a week.

HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION:
The email server being down.

HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love mail and doing a 'Send All.'

HEIGHT OF TIMEPASS:
A person sending email to himself

HEIGHT OF EXPECTATION:
Sending Indian cricket team an e-mail, wishing them to win a match

HEIGHT OF REPETITION:
Forwarding an email to someone and receiving the same email forwarded back to you By some one in the receiving chain.

HEIGHT OF BROWSING:
U r swimming in the water tank and shout 'F1 F1 F1 ' instead of shouting 'HELP' when u are unable to swim...

Common Prayer of the day(fun)

When NASA Need'S MoNeY......

WRONG PLACE WRONG TIME..

DARE TO DO IT...

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

WOMEN AS EXPLAINED BY ENGINEERS...




Mathematical relation(joke)

1) Teacher tells a student a=b, b=c implies a=c.

Tell me an example.

Student : I love u - u love your daughter - so I love your daughter.


2) What is a girl friend?

Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies
& division of friends.

Our life

Comp vs Hindi films

Computer Vs. Hindi Films:-

1) Pentium III & Pentium I ---- Bade miyan andChhote miyan.
2) Computer infected by Virus - Pyar to Hona hitha.
3) Hard disk and Floppy disk - Gharwaali Baharwaali.
4)F1 - Guide.
5) Esc - Nau Do Gyarah.
6) Ctrl+Alt+Del - AkhriRastaa.
7) CrtlC + CtrlV - Duplicate.
8) Undo - Aa ab lautchale.
9) Super User Password - Gupt.
10) BackUp - Jaagteraho.
11) UPS - Janta Hawaldar.
12) Server -Godfather.
13) Proxy Server - Padosan.
14) Security -Nakabandi.
15) Storage - Tehkhana.
16) Storage capacity -Badhti ka naam Dadhi.
17) Computer without RAM - KoraKagaz.
18) Computer whose OS is DOS - Buddha mil gaya.
19)System which frequently requires bootable disk - Sharabi.
20) DumbTerminal - Anari.
21) Mouse - Jaanwar.
22) Hard Disk partition- Batwara.
23) Hardware & Software - Ek duje ke liye.
24)Tempo rary file - Khote Sikkey.
25) Operator vs Computer - Meinkhiladi Tu Anadi.
26) NRI - Phir bhi Dil hai Hindustaani.
27)Indian Programmers - Jawab Hum denge.
28 ) Contractor - Bakra Kistope.
29 ) Employee on Probation - Paying Guest.
30 )Employeewho works Sincerely -Dil Se.
31) Employee who is ready to Leave hisjob - Doli Saja Ke Rakhna.
32) Employee for more than 3 yrs in thecompany - Amar Prem.
33) Employee who signs a Bond-Bandhan.
34) Employee who does not signs a Bond -Kachche Dhage.
35) Employees Changing Job frequently -Banjaare.
36) Employee Changing his Platform -Badalte Rishte

Monday, November 14, 2005

hi

hi everyone,

Hopes that u people enjoy this blog very much.pass comments on these if any.
Thank you.

mail me at : catchin_johnie@yahoo.co.in


johnie


my another blog is:http://catchurjohnie.blogspot.com

Beautiful pictures of the nature...







Men Are Hard To Please

Men Are Hard To Please


The problems with GUYS:


If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;

If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;

If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;

If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;

If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;

If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)

If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;

If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;

If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;

If he SCOLDS u,it is because he CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;

If he SMOKES, he is a GENTLEMAN.

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;

If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;

If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
& sooo hard to please!!!!!


hehe.. this is funny isnt it... no offense 2 guys... but this is at
the very least 90% true

If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......
but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....

The moral of the story is.......SEND THIS TO GUYS OUT THERE

ANYWAY...



/----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------/

Humor from great minds.......

Humor from Great Minds


"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... "
Sir Norman Wisdom

" One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money."
Edgar Watson Howe

"A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! "
Doug Larson

"A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie! "
Eric Bolton

" When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."
Erno Philips

" I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. "
Robert Paul

" We spend the first twelve months of our children's liv! es teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. "
Phyllis Diller

" Laughter is the closest distance between two people. "
Victor Borge

"Start every day with a smile and get it over with. "
W.C. Fields

" Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."
Will Rogers

"Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. "
Mickey Rooney

" Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children.
Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison. "
Tim Allen

"If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks. "
Rita Rudner

" I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. "
Woody Allen

" Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
Erica Jong

"Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. "
Elbert Hubbard

"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. "
Wendell Johnson

" In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out."
Joey Adams

"I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. "
Henry Youngman


"Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born ? "
Benny Hill

" Nothin is Impossible in this world. The word Impossible itself says I'm Possible"
Hussain Bhindarwala

Titanic News Paper.......

This is the news paper photos , when the titanic ship sinks......
this is the rare collection. hope u will like it.







RACK UR BRAINS(dont cheat)





















Scroll Down for Answer:
. ..

. ..

. ..

. ..

. ..
.................

. ...................

. ......

. ................

. .................

. dont see..

......................................

........................................

.............................................................

............

..........aray u can do it ra......

....................................

..........

.........................

....try to answer..........

............................

.......................................

...........................................



Nature faces

FIRE






















AUTUMN






















SPRING






















SUMMER






















WATER




















EARTH

Thursday, November 10, 2005

funny acronyms

WIPRO =Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

HCL = Hidden Costs & Losses

TCS = Totally Confusing Solutions


C-DOT =Coffee During Office Timings

HUGHES = Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

BAAN = Boring Assosciation and Needs

IBM = Implicitly Boring Machines

SATYAM =Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

PARAM =Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

HP =Hen Pecked

AT&T =All Troubles & Terrible

CMC =Coffee, Meals and Comfort

INFOSYS =INFerior Offline SYStems

DEC= Drifting & Exhausted Computers

BFL =Brainwash First, and Let them go

DELL =Deplorable Equipment & LackLusture

TISL =Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd

PSI =Peculiar Symptoms of India

PCL =Poor Computers Ltd

SPARC =Simply Poor And Redundant Computers

SUN =Surely Useless Novelties

CRAY =Cry Repeatedly After an Year

TUL =Troubles Un Limited

CTS =Coffee, Tea and Snacks

ICIM =Impossible Computers In Maintenance

BPL= Below Poverty Line.

NIIT= Not Interested in IT

TIL Totally In Loss

regards,

johnie



LOVELY frinedship





13 differences b/n ..........

13 Differences between Women and Men :



. NAMES:

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for
lunch, they will
call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and
Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will
affectionately refer
to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and
Scrappy.


2. EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom
will each throw in
a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of
them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they
want the change
back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket
calculators.


3. MONEY:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
need but it's on
sale.


4. BATHROOMS:

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush,
shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the
Marriott.


The average number of items in the typical woman's
bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify most of
these items.


5. ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of
a new argument.


6. CATS:

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats.


7. FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets
a wife.


8. SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


9. MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but
he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
change and she does.


10. DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water
the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read
the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


11. NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


12. OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living
in the house.


13. FINAL THOUGHT:

Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same
thing.




LoVe signals


http://www.folds.net/tutorial/

--------------
----------------

Reasons that not having a girl frined...

Reasons why LIFE without a Girl Friend, rules ..........

1.You can stare at any Girl.......

2.You don't have to spend money on her.

3.You won't get boring result in ur board papers.

4.No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.

5.If u don't have a girlfriend ,she can't dump u.

6.Having a girlfriend is hot,not having a girlfriend is automatically
cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.

7.This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to
ring.

8.You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right"
and "wrong" for u.

9.girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything
according ur wishes anymore.

10.You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a
girlfriend and have a happier family life.

11.You won't have to waste paper writing love letters No more endless
waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop\place.

12.You can have more boy friends(Friends who r Boys), as u will have
more time for them.

13.You wont have to see boring love stories instead of action
thrillers.

14.You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin
less.

15.You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.

16.You wont have to fight over having a 'special'friend with ur
folks.

17.No nonstop nonsense.

18.You wont have drown in the pool of her tears!!!.

19.No tension.

20.You can be " URSELF "

21.You wont have to hide the telephone bills.


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cool photos