Definitions and meanings

"ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS"


1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with
fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day
internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses
is bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divo rce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from
the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students
without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by
the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a
way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before
marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to
feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not
read.

1 3. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things
straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to
open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can be
done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during
life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in
such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if
he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel
Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last
letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word
OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die
rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...
except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and
late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before
elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,
and kills you with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading
such mail

Johnie

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~* I Hate U *~

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Coz...........

I Madly Love U