http://www.funmunch.com/humor/enlarge/monkey.swf
*********
Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle
differences without violence or destruction.
Maturity is patience, willingness to pass up immediate pleasure
in favour of future gains.
Maturity is persevernce, ability to sweat out a project or
a situation in spite of opposition or setbacks.
Maturity is capacity to face unpleasantness,
frustation, discomfort, defeat without complaint or collapse.
Maturity is humility - big enough to say "I was wrong" and
knowing when not to say "I told ya so".
Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it.
Maturity is dependability, keeping one's head high, in times of
crisis.
Maturity is the art of living in peace with one-self - with what
we cannot change and courage to change that should be changed
and wisdom to know the difference.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
johnny's interview
A first grade teacher, Mrs Brooks was having
trouble with one of her
students.
The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I am too smart for the first
Grade.
My sister is in the third grade and I am smarter
than she is! I think I
should be in third grade too."
Mrs Brooks had enough. She took Johnny to the
principal's office.
While Johnny waited in the outer office, the
teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was.
The principal told Mrs Brooks he would give the
boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back
to the first grade and
behave. She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the
conditions explained to
him and he agreed to take the
test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6 ?"
Johnny: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third grade
should know. The principal looks at Mrs Brooks
and tells her, "I think
Johnny can go to the third grade."
Mrs Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask
him, some questions?"
The principal and Johnny both agree.
Mrs Brooks: "What does a cow have four of that I
have only 2 of?
Johnny, after a moment "Legs."
Mrs Brooks: What is in your pants that you have
but I do not have?"
Johnny: "Pockets."
Mrs Brooks: "What starts with C and ends with T,
is hairy, oval and
delicious and contains a whitish liquid?"
Johnny: "Coconut."
Mrs Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink and comes
out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before
he could stop the answer,
Johnny takes charge.....
Johnny: "Bubblegum."
Mrs Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a
woman does sitting down and
a dog does on 3 legs?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before
he could stop the answer.....
Johnny: "Shake hands."
Mrs Brooks: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I'
questions, okay?"
Mrs Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You
tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do."
Johnny: "Tent."
Mrs Brooks: "A finger goes inside me. You fiddle
with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first."
The principal was looking restless and a bit
tense.
Johnny: "Wedding Ring."
Mrs Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip
penetrates. I come with a
quiver?" Johnny; "Arrow."
Mrs Brooks: "What word starts with F and ends in
K and means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Johnny: "Fire truck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and
said
to the teacher,
"Send Johnny to University, I got the last ten
questions wrong myself!"
trouble with one of her
students.
The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I am too smart for the first
Grade.
My sister is in the third grade and I am smarter
than she is! I think I
should be in third grade too."
Mrs Brooks had enough. She took Johnny to the
principal's office.
While Johnny waited in the outer office, the
teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was.
The principal told Mrs Brooks he would give the
boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back
to the first grade and
behave. She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the
conditions explained to
him and he agreed to take the
test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6 ?"
Johnny: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third grade
should know. The principal looks at Mrs Brooks
and tells her, "I think
Johnny can go to the third grade."
Mrs Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask
him, some questions?"
The principal and Johnny both agree.
Mrs Brooks: "What does a cow have four of that I
have only 2 of?
Johnny, after a moment "Legs."
Mrs Brooks: What is in your pants that you have
but I do not have?"
Johnny: "Pockets."
Mrs Brooks: "What starts with C and ends with T,
is hairy, oval and
delicious and contains a whitish liquid?"
Johnny: "Coconut."
Mrs Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink and comes
out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before
he could stop the answer,
Johnny takes charge.....
Johnny: "Bubblegum."
Mrs Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a
woman does sitting down and
a dog does on 3 legs?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before
he could stop the answer.....
Johnny: "Shake hands."
Mrs Brooks: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I'
questions, okay?"
Mrs Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You
tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do."
Johnny: "Tent."
Mrs Brooks: "A finger goes inside me. You fiddle
with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first."
The principal was looking restless and a bit
tense.
Johnny: "Wedding Ring."
Mrs Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip
penetrates. I come with a
quiver?" Johnny; "Arrow."
Mrs Brooks: "What word starts with F and ends in
K and means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Johnny: "Fire truck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and
said
to the teacher,
"Send Johnny to University, I got the last ten
questions wrong myself!"
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Math student's love letter!!!
Math student's love letter!!!
My Dear Love,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do n ot meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.
Yours ever loving,
Pythagoras
De-Morgan's Law,
7th Cross. Binomial Avenue,
India of Matrices - (a+b)^2
My Dear Love,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do n ot meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.
Yours ever loving,
Pythagoras
De-Morgan's Law,
7th Cross. Binomial Avenue,
India of Matrices - (a+b)^2
Some points to understand gals
Some points to understand Gals....
1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's
crying in her heart.
2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best
to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an
apology.
3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which
is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the
relationship's over.)
4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute
of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.
5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she
will melt.
6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to
react to them.
7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would
start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a
friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?
8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.
9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her
alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.
10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings
and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why
most girls like writing journals).
11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.
12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.
13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may
act look uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is
back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start
telephoning her friends to spread the news.
14. A smile means a lot to a girl.
15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her
get to know you.
16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to
study, leave.
17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.
18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.
19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl
that she is beautiful.
20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she
never noticed him before.
21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance
stories.
22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is
standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.
23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she
loves now stays in her heart.
24. Girls love having fun!
25. A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.
26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and
going through.
27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close
to their 'prettier' friend.
28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that
order.
29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL
girls want a guy who will love and care for them.
30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.
31. Girls always hope that they can always remain as friend with
their ex. But never know how !
1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's
crying in her heart.
2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best
to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an
apology.
3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which
is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the
relationship's over.)
4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute
of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.
5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she
will melt.
6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to
react to them.
7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would
start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a
friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?
8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.
9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her
alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.
10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings
and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why
most girls like writing journals).
11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.
12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.
13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may
act look uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is
back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start
telephoning her friends to spread the news.
14. A smile means a lot to a girl.
15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her
get to know you.
16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to
study, leave.
17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.
18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.
19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl
that she is beautiful.
20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she
never noticed him before.
21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance
stories.
22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is
standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.
23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she
loves now stays in her heart.
24. Girls love having fun!
25. A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.
26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and
going through.
27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close
to their 'prettier' friend.
28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that
order.
29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL
girls want a guy who will love and care for them.
30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.
31. Girls always hope that they can always remain as friend with
their ex. But never know how !
type of girls.....etc..
~*~Types Of Girls~*~
HARD DISK GIRLS:
she remembers everything, FOREVER
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RAM GIRLS:
she forgets about you, the moment you turn her off
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WINDOW GIRLS:
everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCREENSAVER GIRLS:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
INTERNET GIRLS:
Difficult to access.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SERVER GIRLS:
Always busy when you need her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MULTIMEDIA GIRLS:
She makes horrible things look beautiful
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CD-ROM GIRLS:
She is always faster and faster.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EMAIL GIRLS:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VIRUS GIRLS:
Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything...
===========================================================================================
............................... crystal rose
..................................... mood of the women
a view of SEA
HARD DISK GIRLS:
she remembers everything, FOREVER
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RAM GIRLS:
she forgets about you, the moment you turn her off
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WINDOW GIRLS:
everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCREENSAVER GIRLS:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
INTERNET GIRLS:
Difficult to access.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SERVER GIRLS:
Always busy when you need her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MULTIMEDIA GIRLS:
She makes horrible things look beautiful
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CD-ROM GIRLS:
She is always faster and faster.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EMAIL GIRLS:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VIRUS GIRLS:
Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything...
===========================================================================================
............................... crystal rose
..................................... mood of the women
a view of SEA
Monday, November 07, 2005
change in time....
25 years ago......
A program was ... a television show
An application was .. for employment
Windows were..... something u hated to clean
A cusor ... used profanity
A keyboard was ...a piano
Memory was..... something u lost with age
A CD was... a bank account
If u unzipped in public u went to jail
Compress was something u did to garbage
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
Log on was adding wood to fire
A backup happened to your toilet
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
Cut.. u did with scissors
paste.. u did with glue
A web was a spiders home
And a virus was the flu!!
... Times surely have changed
A program was ... a television show
An application was .. for employment
Windows were..... something u hated to clean
A cusor ... used profanity
A keyboard was ...a piano
Memory was..... something u lost with age
A CD was... a bank account
If u unzipped in public u went to jail
Compress was something u did to garbage
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
Log on was adding wood to fire
A backup happened to your toilet
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
Cut.. u did with scissors
paste.. u did with glue
A web was a spiders home
And a virus was the flu!!
... Times surely have changed
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Matrimonial ad's by...
MATRIMONIAL AD'S by PROFESSIONALS (Must Read)
*DOCTOR**
Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage.
I'm looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects.
Apply or reply.
SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI with Security features(privileges only for the Specific User especially criticalFunctionali ties). There must not be any Critical or MediumBug in her.Low Bugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build.She Must not be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT, USER FRIENDLY. We are ready to Test the Application & CERTIFY the product but we will assure it will never breleasedto ANY OTHER Customer.
BEGGAR
Allah ke nam pe koi ek biwi de de,Doosre ki nahi to apni hi de de,Allah tujhe ek ke badle do dega,Hillary hogi to Monika bhi dega
LAWYER
I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of husband after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should bestrictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e . Myself. Any objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.
BANKER
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service
.SHAYARB
adi muddat ke baad ek arzoo jaagi hai,Ki hum bhi shadi shuda ho jaye,Kya vajah shadi karane ki jo kahde sahi sahi,To yaaron ab khud se kaam ghar ka hota nahi.
*DOCTOR**
Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage.
I'm looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects.
Apply or reply.
SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI with Security features(privileges only for the Specific User especially criticalFunctionali ties). There must not be any Critical or MediumBug in her.Low Bugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build.She Must not be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT, USER FRIENDLY. We are ready to Test the Application & CERTIFY the product but we will assure it will never breleasedto ANY OTHER Customer.
BEGGAR
Allah ke nam pe koi ek biwi de de,Doosre ki nahi to apni hi de de,Allah tujhe ek ke badle do dega,Hillary hogi to Monika bhi dega
LAWYER
I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of husband after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should bestrictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e . Myself. Any objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.
BANKER
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service
.SHAYARB
adi muddat ke baad ek arzoo jaagi hai,Ki hum bhi shadi shuda ho jaye,Kya vajah shadi karane ki jo kahde sahi sahi,To yaaron ab khud se kaam ghar ka hota nahi.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
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